Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize