too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
