toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
oh god the rape fog is back!
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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