I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
