is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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