I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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