apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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