Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
