Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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