I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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