I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize