I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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