Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
