haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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