I just made out with a guy for $7.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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