I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
