I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
