I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Also, beer. Big fan.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
