If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
