Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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