I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
smell my finger.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
