Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
