I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
