Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize