at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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