i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
