Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
