when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
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