You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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