a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
