i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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