it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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