If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
there is glitter all over my balls
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