Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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