Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
