I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
