Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
