You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize