why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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