You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
