i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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