I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
