Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize