Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
