there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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