So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
then he tried to convert me to islam
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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