I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I'm bleeding and have questions
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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