did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
