I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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