his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
