Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
