I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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