i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
