would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
