who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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