Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
